Serbian Curses

WARNING: Explicit language involving deviancy, violence, toilet activities, religious blasphemy, racism and sexual perversion.

Balkan Slavs have somewhat of a reputation for having a large variety of brutally explicit curses and sayings. The aim of this list is to bring this rich collection to the poor souls who haven’t yet had the privilege of hearing and enjoying them. I did not include insults that do not have “bad words” in them i.e. things like “you moron”, but only those that insinuate or mention genitals, sexual acts and baser bodily functions. It took me a while to compile them all, so you'd better fucking enjoy them! 
Sorry about the foul language, got carried away.
Provided are literal and free translations, plus pointless comments and dubious analysis.

Serbo-Croatian Curses, Swear Words, Dirty Phrases, & Nasty Proverbs

Pronounciation:

But first, in case you want to actually learn to say some of the this f**king crap, here's a basic guide to reading Serbian.

Ć = ch

Č = ch

Š = sh

Ž = like the French J

DŽ = similar to J, as in joke

DJ = like J, as in joke

J = Y, as in yodel

LJ = like the Spanish LL

C = TS, as in that’s

All the other letters are pronounced as they’re written. The Serbian language is written/read in a fairly straight-forward manner.
As far as which vowels are accented i.e. longer, the general rule is to place the accent on the first vowel in a word. However, this applies more to short(er) words, the longer ones having the accent around the middle sometimes. Rarely is the accent in the latter part of a word i.e. the last vowel. If a word starts with several consonants, then the accent might be on one of them, not the ensuing vowel(s).

"Pičko!"  

Literal = "you cunt"

Free = "you cunt"

American black men only fairly recently started using "bitch" (similar in purpose to "picka" i.e. "cunt") to insult other men. Serbs have been doing this for long before with "cunt". Admittedly, though, the English have been using "cunt" for the male sex for many years now (which fits in nicely with the high rate of homosexuality in Britain).

Of course, I can’t prove any of this. I am simply assuming that Serbs and Croats had always been ahead of the times and the rest of the world curse-wise.

“Pičketino!”

 (tough to translate exactly)

Literal = “you great big cunt”

Free = “you damn cunt”

Quite a harsh curse, no tongue-in-cheek joking involved whatsoever. Usually betrayal-related, i.e. to be used if someone fails to deliver on a promise, or reveals a lack of moral fiber in any way. Like a heavier version of “govnaru”. To be used by either sex at either sex.

“Pizdo!”

Literal = “you cunt”

Free = “you cunt”

Essentially the same as the previous curse, but not quite as heavy, though still packing a potent punch. Usually directed at a man.

“Kakva pičkica”

Literal = “what a little cunt”

Free = “what a pussy” or “what a wuss”

“Pickica” is diminutive for “picka” i.e. to merely translate it as “little cunt” doesn’t do this great word justice. It is quite an insult for a man to be called this, especially if he really is a so-called wussie or if he is at the opposite side of the masculinity spectrum - an alpha male. Unsurprisingly, some tougher guys of the alpha kind might react to this insult with immediate violence (or hours later, should the user be on the other side of the phone-line from where it’s safer to hurl such insults at tough guys – or at least safe for a while until the enraged alpha male finds the curse user which can only be prevented if the user leaves town swiftly).

"Idi u pičku materinu!"

Literal = "go into (your/a) mother's cunt"

Free = "fuck yourself” or “fuck this shit”

A very popular curse, and one of the true classics, partly due to the fact that it can be hurled directly at a person or used as an expression of anger due to a bad situation.
People who inhabit more "civilized" regions (such as the Japanese, or Scandinavians) might not believe when I say that this curse is uttered almost as often as konichiwa is said in Japan. In Japan people are polite, whereas in the Balkans they are... much less polite.

There's no space in any mother's vagina to fit an adult person into, so this can be interpreted in a variety of ways. Perhaps it means "go back to where you came from", or maybe "you're such a fucking pussy, can't live without your Mommy", or even “your Mommy is such a whore you probably have plenty of space coz she’s like a garage in there” etc.

Yet, the curse doesn't 100% grammatically specify whose mother's genitals should be (re-)inhabited even though it may be logical to assume it’s the victim’s mother. So perhaps the victim of the curse even has a choice of which vagina he may move into, which is not a bad thing, especially if the victim was already planning to move into one.

"M'rš u pičku materinu!"  

Literal = "go (very fast) into (your/a) mother's cunt"

Free = "fuck off"

Basically the same as above, only even heavier. This time there is stress placed on the speed with which you ought to make your way into your mother's vagina (or a random vagina, a vagina of your choice). There is no time to lose here, i.e. time is of the essence, for it means the user of the curse is very upset indeed. And since the curse doesn't 100% specify whose mother is meant, it implies the victim should not be too picky about the vagina he chooses to move into, because of the speed – which is stressed here as of vital significance. Sort of like "get yourself inside one, the closest one you can find right now" i.e. now’s not the time to be picky about which one you shall move into.

If an adult male hurls this insult at another male, a brawl may ensue (especially if they’re both quite thick and/or drunk), because most Balkan men don’t allow other people to insult their mothers. Of course, the more intelligent Balkan males don’t take these mother-related curses personally since the curse isn’t meant to be taken literally, but merely as a “fuck off” to the other person.

“A u pičku materinu bre!”

Literal = “ahh, into the mother’s cunt”

Free = “oh, fuck it”, “oh, shit”, “damn it”

An expression of disappointment and anger when the user realizes something didn’t go his way, or that he’d made a mistake.

“Teraj ih u pičku materinu!”

Literal = “urge them (to go) into a/the mother’s cunt” or “force them (to go) into a/the mother’s cunt”

Free = “tell them they can go fuck themselves”, “fuck them”

What’s really shocking about this curse is that the number of people the user may be suggesting should be forced into a single vagina may be limitless. You cannot even get one grown man inside even the biggest vagina (either by force or by asking him politely), let alone a group of men. Besides, what are they all to do once forced inside? Play poker? Of course, all this is if one vagina is meant by the user.

If multiple vaginas are meant, i.e. if all those men are to be distributed one per woman (i.e. their mothers), then that leaves a lot more space in each woman’s vagina – or so it would seem. Actually, the vaginas would still be extremely full, with the added disadvantage that in this scenario the men wouldn’t be able to play poker with each other.

“Sta pička rodi to niko ne može”

Literal = “what a cunt gives birth to, nobody can” or “what a cunt can give birth to, nobody can”

A proverb (if we can call it that) utilized to insult someone in the third-person in an all-round way; it can be used to specifically insult their intelligence, looks or morals but tends to be more all-encompassing. It’s very funny because it implies that there are alternatives to vaginas when it comes to giving birth – plus the added implication that only vaginas can be held accountable for giving birth to total screw-ups (which implies they can’t get any credit for intelligent and/or good-looking people). So who or what would be responsible for quality offspring then?

Eggs; that’s the only answer I can come up with. Admittedly, they too plop out of vaginas (or asses?), but the birth itself could be construed to occur from the egg itself rather than the vagina. And so we reach another potential age-old dilemma, that would come right after the “chicken-or-the-egg” question: did he come out of a vagina or an egg?

"Pica sa dva lica"

Literal = "a pussy with two faces"
Free = "two-faced asshole" or "two-faced bitch"

Pica is diminutive for picka, so this rhyme-like phrase has the cuteness factor going for it, which softens it up a bit.

“Dobio je po pički”

Literal = “he got it on his pussy” or “he received it on his cunt”
Free = “he got his ass beat”

Quite strange, the notion that a guy gets beaten up by having things done with his non-existent vagina. But the female genitals are often given ownership to guys, as in many other languages. There is also an element of mystery here, because we don’t quite know what is being performed on the person’s vagina.

As of recently, this curse/phrase has been used with a slight - but humorous - alteration: "dobio je po pičci". It is impossible to relay to a non-speaker why this is funny. Let's just say that turning the K into a C breaks a fundamental grammar rule hence makes the phrase sound quite silly. Or even sillier.

“Koja si ti pička!”

Literal = “which cunt are you?”

Free = “you’re such an asshole”, “you’re such a prick”, or "what a cunt you are"

Like its English equivalents, this curse accuses the victim of being disloyal, not holding his word, being someone who cannot be trusted – and as we all know, vaginas are all like that. Grammatically-speaking, the curse is actually phrased as a question (although not pronounced as one), revealing perhaps the user’s curiosity and frustration due to not knowing exactly what type of “cunt” he is. He knows the victim is a “picka”, but which one?

"Jebem ti mater!"

Literal = "I fuck your mother"

Free = "fuck you"

Well suited as a follow-up curse to "idi u picku materinu", implying that "after you go into your mother's cunt, I will have sex with your mother, i.e. fuck you in the head or whichever part of you is sticking out, since you obviously can't fit into your mother's cunt anymore, unless you're a very small midget". Whether "jebem ti mater" implies that the user of the curse fucks the victim’s mother regularly or at the moment is unclear from the grammar. So if you hear this over the phone, might wanna check where your mother is.

"Mater ti jebem!"

Same as above, i.e. "I fuck your mother" but with a different word-order. I.e. "it's your mother that I fuck".

It is fascinating that despite curses related to mothers are extremely common, very often their usage results in a brawl or at least threats of violence. It goes something like this:
Serb Swearer: "Mater ti jebem, idiote!"
Serb Victim: "What did you say?! Did you mention my mother? You want me to kick your fucking ass here or what?!"
The victim can easily use this verbal attack as an excuse to turn an argument into a physical confrontation - in case he feels angry enough or strong enough to physically challenge the swearer. The scenario I just showed you plays out in the Balkans about 10,000 times a day, and that is no exaggeration at all.

“Mater ti jebem krvavu!”

Literal = “I fuck your bloody mother”

Free = “fuck you, motherfucker”

The mention of blood in this curse reminds us of the British adjective “bloody” but is somewhat different, because the Brits use it far more often and because the Serbo-Croat equivalent sounds heavier and angrier. Blood doesn’t feature in Balkan curses nearly as often as intercourse, animals, mothers or penises - which is ironic considering the extreme bloodiness of the wars and conflicts there.

“Jebem ti mater u pičku!”

Literal = “I fuck your mother in the cunt”

Free = “You fucking asshole” or “fuck you”

A bit on the bleedin’-obvious side, this one, you might say. But considering the bizarreness of some sexual acts on this list, perhaps stating the bleedin’-obvious may not be that pointless after all, i.e. “let’s make it clear that I will fuck your mother in the cunt and not somewhere else”.
If I'm not mistaken, I believe tennis pro Goran Ivanisevic used to say this a lot during his matches. In fact, he used several of the curses on this list, and in nearly every match at least once.

“Jebem li ti sto mile majke!”

Literal = “do I fuck your 100 dear mothers?”

Free = “fuck you”

Is this curse involving step-mothers as well? Step-parents are nowhere to be found in Balkan curses and this one mentions so many mothers, so I wonder if perhaps this curse offers the one theoretical chance of that wrong (i.e. non-inclusion) being righted.

Posed as a question, but only technically-speaking. The user has no doubts in his mind – and doesn’t want any doubts left in the victim’s – that all of his 100 mothers are on his MILF-to-do list. More of an older curse, not used by younger generations.

“Jebem ti mater ustašku!”

Literal = “I fuck your Ustasha mother”

Free = “fuck you”

The Ustashas were/are an ultra-nationalist Croat movement that worked closely with the Nazis during WW2, and are responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of civilians, mainly Serbs – their arch-enemies. Hence the chance that this heavy curse could be used by a Croat lies at close to 0%, unless he’s hiding his Croatian background/heritage from the Serb he’s using the curse on. It’s a safe bet that Croats have their own Serb-related curses. In fact, there is a good chance Croats have “jebem ti mater četničku”, a curse that insults any Croat that might have a Chetnik mother i.e. one that fought on the Serbian side during WW2.
The only thing in common between Chetniks and Ustashas - politically speaking - is their anti-communism. Ironic, because communism forced the two Balkan nations into a 46-year union called Yugoslavia. The utopian communist idea of a Chetnik-Ustasha federation was so "successful" that the two nations went into a bloody war the very moment Yugoslavia ceased to exist. I.e. communism never solves any problems, it merely amplifies them or simply sweeps them under the rug.

“Jebem ti mater šiptarsku!”

Literal = “I fuck your Shiptar mother”

Free = “fuck you”

Shiptari or Shiptars (which technically-speaking isn’t a derogatory term, but is often used that way) are Albanians, a Moslem minority that have traditionally not had the best relationship with Serbs over the past century – to put it mildly. Serbs lost their province of Kosovo to Albanians, and fought many wars and battles with Croats, so it’s a coin flip which insult – Albanians or Croats – is considered worse for the average Serb. I am pretty certain that Albanians use Serbs in a similar way in their own curses.

“Jebem ti mater cigansku!”

Literal = “I fuck your Gypsy mother”

Free = “you scumbag” or “fuck you”

The status of Gypsies in the Balkans cannot possibly be any lower than it is; they are by far the poorest demographic and the vast majority of them are illiterate. (One statistic claims that there are only 12 Gypsy college graduates in Serbia - out of a population of 500,000.) However, whereas the relationship between Serbs and Croats can best be described as one of barely suppressed contempt, the attitude that many Croats and Serbs have toward gypsies is one of cheerful mockery with some revulsion thrown in. Gypsies are laughed at more often than hated, but that’s just a general rule. (Highly popular clips of Gypsies saying and doing comical things are all over YouTube.) They are regarded as an inferior species in the Balkans, hence to label the victim’s mother as being of Gypsy heritage is quite an insult and may occasionally result in a brawl.

“Jebem ti mater partizansku!”

Literal = “I fuck your Partisan mother”

Free = “fuck you”

Partisans were soldiers who fought for Tito and his Communists during WW2, hence opinions about them range from mindless adoration and hero-worship all the way to utter contempt; it all depends on whether you ask a brainwashed moron or somebody familiar with Yugoslavia’s history. Hence this is an insult that needs to be directed at the appropriate person i.e. victim; yelling at a Communist that his mother is a Partisan won’t have any effect other than make the “victim” chuckle – until he realizes that the user is also proposing to have sex with her.

"Posred pičke"

Literal = "right in the cunt" or "right in the middle of the cunt"

This is usually used as part of a longer curse. Sometimes it is used half-way literally to signify that somebody did something exactly where he shouldn't have.


"Jebem ti sisu u pičku!"

Literal = "I fuck your tit in the cunt" or "I fuck your tit in your cunt"

A curse not really directed at any person, but an expression of dissatisfaction. Not a very angry curse despite how it may sound. The curse doesn't quite specify whose "picka" is meant, but that's nothing compared to the almost Picasso-like anatomical mish-mash that results from having sex with a boob which happens to be in a vagina.

“Jebem te u pičku da te jebem!”

(slightly difficult to translate)

Literal = “I fuck you in your cunt that I fuck you”

Free = “you fucking asshole” or “fuck you”

This one is fairly funny, utilizing its verb twice, in what is a bit of a grammatical mess, frankly. But many curses on this list are grammatically-challenged (hence quite tough to bring to you in English accurately). And that makes sense: after all, in the heat of the moment who has time to pay attention to finer grammatical points? Especially in a language as grammatically complex as Serbian is. Besides, grammatical errors add harshness and primitivism to a curse, which generally makes it heavier (and/or funnier).

"Jebem ti sestru!"

Literal = "I fuck your sister"

Free = "you scumbag" or "you asshole" or “fuck you”

Finally a curse that breaks away from the incestual/generation-crossing theme. It may be yet another slightly harsh curse, but at least the sexual implications carry no sexually sinister or illegal implications (unless she is a minor, in which case pedophilia rears its ugly head). If another guy has consensual sex with your adult sister, well, that is his and her right. However, the phrasing of the curse makes it unclear whether the intercourse that has transpired (or is about to) is consensual or not, so there is a hint of sexual violence in the air – as with so many Balkan curses. 

“Jebem te i onog ko te sklepao ovakvog!”

Literal = “I fuck you and the person who pieced you together (i.e. made you) this way”

Free = “fuck you”

Whether the order of “fucking” will proceed as listed in the curse is perhaps a moot point. One thing is for sure: the user’s revenge will involve intercourse with multiple members of your family, although it isn’t clear which parent – although both could be meant, technically-speaking. The curse user seems to forget that two people create every human, not one. On the other hand, perhaps the user is referring to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, implying that the victim does have one parent – namely an evil lunatic scientist who actually wasted his time on making the victim, i.e. “pieced (him) together”.

The user hates you so much that he’s willing to have sex with not just you but also the person or persons who gave birth or were involved in the making/piecing-together of your horrid self. Does that make any sense? It might to a serial psychopathic rapist.

“Jebem ti familiju sve po spisku!”

Literal = “I fuck your whole family from the list” or “I fuck your whole family, one after another”

Free = “fuck you, you motherfucking cocksucker”

This one has it all: homosexuality, bisexuality, (potentially) pedophilia (depending on the age of the family’s youngest members), rape, and perhaps even bestiality (in case the family includes any pets). Such a cheerful place, the Balkans.

“Jebem te u uvo gluvo!”

Literal = “I fuck you in your deaf ear”

Free = “don’t you play dumb with me”

A rhyme hurled at someone who is pretending not to understand or hear something, though I think it can be also used when the victim is hard-of-hearing.


“Jebem te u usta!”

Literal = “I fuck you in the mouth”

Free = “screw you”

One of numerous oral-sex-related curses. Believe it or not, this is a fairly timid curse, compared at least to many on the list. It's only used with mild anger.

“Jebem ti lebarnik!”

Literal = “I fuck your stomach”

Free = “fuck this” or “damn it”

The only opening in the abdominal region that even vaguely hints at a remote possibility of intercourse is the navel, which makes this curse very silly indeed. Just picture it.

An older curse, I’m not sure how much it’s used these days.

“Jebem te u dupe!”

Literal = “I fuck you in the ass”

Free = “fuck you”

Contrary to what you might think, this is a curse of lesser force, i.e. one of the softer ones. It isn’t normally used at times of great agitation but only when mild amounts of anger are present in the user’s head.

Of course, if this curse is used by a man and directed at another man then there are homosexual implications, as so often in Balkan curses.

“Jebem te u šupak!”

Literal = “I fuck you in the ass”

Free = “fuck you”

Same as the above, but utilizing the more obsolete word for “ass”. Used more in Bosnia and/or Croatia, that’s my guess.

“Jeb’o te Tito!”

Literal = “Tito fucked you” or “may Tito fuck you”

Free = “screw you” or “you know what you can do with your Tito”

It is only logical to follow up a series of ass-related curses with Tito-related ones. This particular Titoic curse can be used after the victim mentions Tito (in a positive light, most likely), revealing the user’s dislike or hate for the megalomaniac Communist, so it can be a very situation-specific curse.

“Jeb’o ti Tito mater!”

Tito gropes a worshiper. Not photo-shopped.

Literal = “Tito fucked your mother” or “may Tito fuck your mother”

Free = “fuck you” or “you know what Tito can do with your mother”

Similar to the previous Tito curse, sort of like a sequel in which this time the victim is spared being raped by the Communist dictator. The user isn’t interested in Tito sexually molesting the victim this time around, but plans to send the ex-dictator to have a go at the victim’s mother who presumably has nothing to with the whole situation. One of many “unfair” curses that threaten to victimize someone who might not be directly connected to the dispute, i.e. a person’s mother (and even Tito, if the dictator happens to not be attracted to the mother he is assigned to molest).

The curse is less used now, mainly because Tito has been dead for over 30 years. If used today, the curse would gain a whole new level of depravity, insinuating that the rotting corpse of an 88 year-old fat man will sexually target the victim’s mother. Whether this would be labeled reverse necrophilia or simply zombie rape is anybody’s guess. 

"Jebem ti Boga!"

Literal = "I'm fucking (your) God"

Free = "you motherfucking…" or "fuck this" (in the "oh, no" sense)

The very idea of having sex with a deity is quite a megalomaniac one, but the Serbs believe, after all, that they are "the Heavenly People", so who knows what some of them get up to up there.

This curse had its heyday in the pre-total-religious-hysteria days, i.e. during Tito's Communist/atheist rule. But now that so many Serbs and Croats have suddenly become so deeply religious, it's a bit of a no-no to use, and its users often get admonished for saying it. It still slips out of people's mouths occasionally, but this once-common curse has had its day and is in exile now among those who consider themselves “true believers” of Orthodox Christianity or Catholicism.

Just as some other curses, this one can be used as a direct insult toward a person, or as an exclamation of negative surprise.

"Bog te jeb'o!"

Literal = "God has fucked you" (as in "had sex", not "fucked over")

Free = "I can't fucking believe it"

An expression of surprise, either negative or positive. And it makes sense: "I'm so surprised that God actually fucked you!", a true rarity to know someone whom that happened to, given that (officially) God only had sex with a certain Jewish virgin. And that was a while ago.

“Jebem ti Božju mater!”

Literal = “I fuck (your) God’s mother” or “I fuck your godly mother”

Free = “fuck!” or “fucking shit” or “fucking hell”

This curse will always be associated with President Tito, Yugoslavia’s Communist dictator. I don’t know whether he was ever overheard saying it (quite possible that he was), but Tito imitators often use this curse. Used not directly at a person, but as an expression of surprise and anger.

There is some ambiguity here. It can be interpreted i.e. translated as a threat to sexually molest the victim’s mother, who is considered “godly” which presumably means she is thought of as sexy and inviting of lustful thoughts. Hence the curse praises the victim’s mother, giving her appearance the highest compliment possible, which is in stark contrast to the hate and/or anger the user has toward the mother’s son.

On the other hand, the curse can also mean that the user has his erect penis aimed straight at the mother of the Almighty (which shows huge confidence and more than just a hint of megalomania as well). That, naturally, brings us to a whole new philosophical ballgame: does God have any parents? And if so, does he have any grandparents too? Great-grandparents? Etc. If so, would any of them – especially God’s mother who is sought out here – be willing to have sex with a mere mortal, just because he is angry at another mere mortal? And could God’s mother possibly get pregnant from this strange sexual ordeal? If she did, would she abort or carry out the pregnancy to its full 9-months? Would God’s pregnant-from-a-mere-mortal mother carry a bastard child for 9 months like human females? Questions upon questions.

“Jebem ti Boga blesavoga!”

Literal = “I fuck your goofy (silly) God”

Free = “fuck you” or “you silly shit”

A rhyming curse that not only shows the usual zero respect toward the victim’s deity, but even characterizes Him as being silly.

The great irony is that this curse had its heyday during the Communist era when most people in the Balkans (especially Communists and Tito sympathizers) declared themselves as atheists. Cursing out an atheist’s “silly God” is quite pointless, methinks. Perhaps this is why all god-related curses didn’t rank very high on the heaviness scale.

“Kao da je Boga zgrabio za kurac”

Literal = “as if he'd grabbed God by the cock”

Free = “he's behaving mighty important all of a sudden”

When someone suddenly becomes arrogant or self-important, pompous. Can be used for example foer a nouveau-riche peasant.
 

“Jebem ti krv Isusovu!”

Literal = “I fuck the blood of Jesus”

Threatening to sexually molest a liquid substance is strange, but threatening to sexually assault a substance as rare as the Messiah’s blood simply reveals the shocking wastefulness of the curse’s user and his total disregard for church protocol. Does he not know how much such blood would fetch on an auction? Many Christians would lop off their left legs for just one drop of this precious liquid, and yet the user wants to have his way with it? Presumably he can’t have his cake and eat it too i.e. have sex with Jesus’s blood AND sell it to the highest bidder (Vatican?) afterwards, because we can safely assume that the blood would be irretrievably lost after this ridiculous sexual act.

Perhaps it is for this reason that the curse isn’t common these days (aside from the fact that the masses have massively converted from Communism i.e. atheism to Christianity in recent decades). Hence I don’t know if it’s a curse directed at a specific victim or if it’s used as an expression of surprise and anger, or both. Either way, it makes sense that Balkan Slavs have a go at the Son of God, too, after totally desecrating the name of His Heavenly Father by repeatedly threatening to “fuck” him.

“Jebem ti detence mrtvo!”

Literal = “I fuck your little dead child”

Free = “fuck you”

This is where real-life Balkan brutality rears its even uglier face. This time we even have pedophilia and necrophilia – all rolled into one. Wow. Swatting two major taboo perversions with one hit; quite an “accomplishment”. This one is rarely used, as far as I know. In fact, I've never heard it being used. “Detence” sounds much more accurate when translated into the German word for it i.e. Kindlein.

“Krvavo ti detence jebem!”

Literal = “I fuck your bloody little child”

Free = “fuck you”

After having threatened to sexually molest the victim’s dead child, now the accuser is content to have the victim’s child all covered in blood rather than right-out dead. So I guess at first glance this could be seen as a milder curse, especially since it isn’t clear whose blood it is. Then again, it could also be seen as an almost equally extreme curse, because the implication might be that the user intends to sexually assault the child the moment it’s given birth to i.e. covered in blood, in which case the user happens to be threatening the unborn child of the victim’s pregnant wife, which in turn means that the doctors and nurses will be urged to hurry up with the baby’s cleaning upon its birth – or at the very least hire a cop to stand at the door of the delivery-room to prevent the user from rushing inside it with his pants already down.

“Jebem li ti dete i muško i žensko!”

Literal = “do I fuck your child, both male and female?” or "I fuck your child, both male and female"

Free = “fuck you” or “I’m gonna get ya”

Don’t be fooled by the fact that the curse is posed as a question, because it certainly isn’t one. This time the curse user threatens to have his way with kids of either sex. Aside from the obvious tastelessness of the third entry in this pedophilic curse-trilogy, this threat/insult is illogical because it mentions just one child, but then inexplicably switches to plural, as if that child splits into two kids.

If the victim has 5-6 kids then he/she will have to ask the user to specify which of the brood he wants to sexually molest. Just saying.

The user of this curse is not a picky rapist for he is a bisexual child molester, so he is doubtlessly insulting himself more than the intended victim of the curse. I haven’t actually ever heard anyone use this one. Perhaps this outdated curse could be sold to the French for some very good money.

“Lebac ti krvav jebem!”

Literal = “I fuck your bloody bread”

Free = “fuck you”

After sex with animals, children, gods, and stellar objects, does bread even qualify as shocking? In fact, it’s almost a bit of a letdown, for we’d been spoiled with bombastic examples of sex and violence so far. Nevertheless, the bread IS covered with blood, so not for a lack of trying.

The fact that it’s a bloody bread carries all sorts of implications and possibilities with it: 1) perhaps the bread had been menstruated upon (look, I’m just trying to think like the people who came up with these ridiculous curses), 2) perhaps the blood belongs to the victim i.e. “I’ll fuck your bread, but first I’ll kill you and cover it with your own blood”, or 3) perhaps the curse is very old and simply utilizes blood as some sort of ancient sauce-like additive to food, to improve the taste of the bread. (Our oft-suffering ancestors ate all sorts of crap.) The possibilities are endless.


“U dupe te jebem krvavo!”

Literal = “I fuck you in your bloody ass”

Free = “fuck you”

Uh-oh, is this yet another curse riddled with homosexual innuendo? You be the judge.

It is important to underline that this blood-related curse was invented before the advent of AIDS – which is ironic considering how this sexual act relates to the theories of how the virus first reached humans.

"Kome je sudjeno da bude jeban, njemu gaće same padaju."

Literal = "He whose fate it is to be fucked, has his underwear fall off on its own."

An amusing saying about how you can't control destiny, or how certain things play out the way they do. Also to be used as a riposte to someone who uses hindsight to judge a situation.


"Nosi se u tri lepe pičke materine!"

(slightly tough to translate)

Literal = "get yourself (or carry yourself) into three pretty mother's cunts"

Free = "why don't you go fuck yourself"

Perhaps it's meant to insult your parentage, i.e. that you don't know which of the three "pretty cunts” is your real mother's. I mean, it's bad enough not knowing who your father is… Still, at least the curse doesn't insult the aesthetic nature of your mother's vagina – even gives its appearance a compliment. (My father's favourite curse, usually when he was clumsy and spilt or knocked something over in the kitchen.)

There is also the possibility that the victim’s mother has three vaginas, but that the user considers all of them pretty, a sort of compliment-within-an-insult, as in “you go fuck yourself and you can go inside your mothers cunts, you motherfucking asshole... oh, and by the way, all three vaginas that you’re being sent to by me are pretty”. A very common curse.

"Jeb'o ti pas mater!"

Literal = "a dog fucked your mother"

Free = "fuck you"

It can also be translated or understood as a wish, i.e. "may a dog fuck your mother". Used more by the lower classes, peasants and perhaps gypsies than by the more educated people. Gypsies have a closer, more open relationship with their canine friends, so it makes sense…

"Jeb'o te otac!"

Literal = "your father fucked you"

Free = "fuck you"

Opens up a Pandora's Box of perversion. After mothers, sisters, dogs and god, no-one remains spared. Paradoxically, not a particularly heavy curse, may even be used semi-jokingly. Balkan people are so anti-homosexual, yet they half-joke about incest, in what should be a very heavy curse. Huh?

"Jeb'o te tata!"

Literal = "your dad fucked you"

Free = "fuck you"

Same as the previous one.

“Ko ga jebe”

Literal = “who fucks him?”

Free = “who gives a shit about him”, “I don’t give a shit about him” or “screw him”

When used for a female, it's “ko je jebe”, and for plural it's “ko ih jebe”. The curse is commonly used without anger, sort of off-hand.

“Ko te jebe”

Literal = “who fucks you?”

Free = “I don’t give a shit about you”

Same as above, only in the second person this time. The implication is that “if nobody fucks you then I can’t give a fuck about you either”, so there is logic in this one.
Grammatically this is a question, but not in the way it's used as a curse.

“Jebem ti i seme i pleme!”

Literal = “I fuck your seed and your tribe” or “I fuck both your seed and your tribe”

Free = “I curse you, asshole” or “fuck you”

An amusing rhyming curse, one that always puts a smile on my face, because it sounds so silly and has such a stupid meaning.

“Krv ti jebem!”

Literal = “I fuck your blood”

Free = “you fucking asshole” or “fuck you”

The easier question to pose isn’t what the cursing Balkan Slav has bonked, but what he hasn't bonked. When it’s a liquid’s turn to be sexually assaulted, you just know the curse user is running out of options. Perhaps he’d already sexually attacked his relatives, animals, little children, divine beings, stellar objects, and bread, hence has not much else left to molest.

“Krv ću da ti popijem!”

Literal = “I will drink your blood”

Free = “I’m a gonna fuck you over”

This time the user is revealing his vampiric tendencies rather than sexual perversion toward blood. But even that makes a lot more sense than having sex with it.

If we consider the drinking of human blood to be cannibalism (liquid cannibalism?) then this curse gets a whole new meaning: “I hate you so much I am willing to become a cannibal vampire just to wipe you off the map!” If the user is already a liquid cannibal or a vampire, then all the easier it is for him to commence drinking the victim’s blood.

“Tu bi kobilu trebalo jebati i ne dati joj da plače!”

Literal = “that mule should be fucked without allowing her to cry”

Free = “fuck that motherfucking bitch”

The word mule (“kobila”) can be switched with a number of other options, such as ox, horse, bitch, goose, or cow. Quite clearly a curse inspired by a rapist or at least by someone with vivid rapist fantasies. As if violent sex weren’t bad enough, the curse also involves bestiality, and even implores the rapist to not allow the victim (who might or might not be bipedal) to express frustration, pain and anguish. In spite of all that, this curse doesn’t rarely elicit smiles from bystanders. 

“Zajeb’o si se”

Literal = “you’ve screwed yourself over”

Free = “you’ve made a mistake”, “it turns out you were wrong”, “you fucked up”

A phrase which informs a person that his/her plan had backfired ("zajebala si se" if spoken to a female), or that she/he had been proven wrong in their assumption about something or someone, i.e. there is an element of “shoot yourself in the foot” here. Even though it’s based on the verb zajebati, “to fuck over”, it isn’t heavy at all, and quite common.

“Zajebali te”

Literal = “they screwed you over”

Free = “they screwed you over”

Self-explanatory.

“Zajebi ti to”

Literal = “screw that over” or “you screw that”

Free = “forget that”, “that’s irrelevant”, “you’re wrong about that”

Another phrase that sounds heavy when translated into English, but fairly common in conversation. It is rude, of course, and wouldn’t be used in political speeches or anything that formal, but otherwise relatively lightweight.

“Neću da se akam”

Literal = “I don’t want to screw”

Free = “I don’t feel like busting my balls” or “I don’t wanna work hard”

Here the sexual act is equated with hard work, which is fairly comical. The phrase is based around an old verb for having sex, “akati”.

"Pička ti strinina!"

(tough to translate)

Literal = "(…) your aunt's cunt"

Free = somewhere between "you asshole" and "fuck you"

After mothers, fathers and sisters, it’s finally time for lesser relatives to get the glory i.e. be the target. Oftentimes, the user doesn’t even know whether his victim has an aunt (“strina”) or what she looks like (let alone what her vagina looks like). But what's even weirder is that the curse doesn’t contain a verb or anything else which would help clarify what exactly is happening to the victim's aunt's private parts. Are they being sexually assaulted? If so, by whom? Is it a threat to assault that particular vagina in the future? The muddled/missing grammar/vocabulary makes it difficult to underpin the magnitude of the real or potential threat – but the message is quite clear: "I don't think I really like you that much", put in understated English terms.

It is interesting that "strina" is the user’s relative-of-choice here, and not "tetka" or "ujna". Let me clarify: in English, "aunt" is an all-purpose word for a hairy female relative much older than oneself. In Serbo-Croatian, however, terms pertaining to family and relatives are far more numerous hence specific. "Strina" is the father's brother's wife, "tetka" is the father’s or mother's sister, and "ujna" is the mother's brother's wife. Hence "strina" is not a blood relative, which at least (for once!) rules out pure incest. Sexual allusions to a "strina" are still taboo, but at least there's nothing illegal going on.

"Idi u kurac!"

Literal = "go inside a cock"

Free = "fuck off"

Just so you don't think there is a sexist thing going in Balkan curses where only vaginas get all the glory, here’s the penis making its first (red carpet?) entrance on the list.

It’s hard to say if there is any deeper sarcasm involved in this one, perhaps implying "you're so small you could really get inside one". When it’s used by a man directed at another man it has a gay thing going on. Homosexual implications and possibilities are never too far off in Balkan cursing, and yet straight men use them matter-of-factly, ignoring or pretending to ignore their literal meanings.
Sometimes used after the victim fooled the user somehow, jokingly. Sort of like "you got me there!".

"Kurče glupi!"

Literal = "you dumb prick"

Free = “you dumb prick”, "you dumb shit" or "you dumb fuck”

Penises are indeed quite stupid, so this one makes total sense. A clean, logical curse, concise and to the point.

“Glup si k’o kurac!”

Literal = “you’re as dumb as a cock”

Free = “you’re a dumb prick” or “you’re a fucking moron”

Very similar to the one above, although slightly more insulting. Very common curse.

"Hvala kurcu!"

Literal = "thanks to the cock" or "thank the cock"

Free = "thank God" or "fucking obvious"

Not a direct curse; merely a blasphemous word-play version of "thank God". And to an atheist it makes sense: since there is no God, it makes more sense to thank an existing entity, a penis in this case.

This phrase is the short form of "hvala kurcu na udarcu" (a rhyme) which isn't used much anymore (perhaps because it’s simply sounds too silly), which literally means "thank the penis for the hit". "Hit" as in getting hit physically, not a musical hit. (Though some male pop singers can certainly thank their genitals for all they’d done for them career-wise.) What a penis has to with hitting I don't know. I assume it has to be at least 15 inches long to be useful enough as a weapon.

Also, the user doesn't specify which penis he/she is thanking, so if a man uses this curse he may actually be thanking another man's penis – which means that what we’ve got here is yet another latently homosexual curse. Or perhaps – to get back on a heterosexual track - the user is thanking a friend for bonking (and marrying) his ugly sister so she'd finally get out of the house.

The curse can also be used to state that something is obvious.

Serbia's dictator, Aleksandar Vucic (on the right), once used this phrase in the most bizarre and most idiotic way imaginable. 
Here we see him with German politician Sebastian Kurz - pronounced "kurc". Vucic, to the utter shock of everyone in the country, stated "zahvaljujem se Gospodinu Kurcu", which doesn't just mean "I thank Mister Kurz". It also means "I thank Mister Cock". 
The only reason journalists and other people present didn't burst out laughing is because they know they would have been imprisoned, or at the very least lost their jobs.

“Odra’ kurcu rebra!”

Literal = “he tore the ribs off a prick”

Free = “you really made a bloody effort, didn’t you”  

A sarcastic phrase that mocks the allegedly pitiful effort levels of the victim.

The notion of a penis having a set of ribs is a fanciful over-romantization/over-idealization of the physical power of the male genital. A penis with ribs would indeed be an extraordinarily powerful penis, tough enough to fight alongside Sparta's 300, not to mention capable of fulfilling the sexual expectations of any non-frigid woman.

To tear off the ribs from such a powerful cock would indeed be an act of de-masculinization of gigantic proportions.

I assume that the logic of the curse is that if you tear off something that doesn’t exist, you haven’t really made much effort i.e. haven’t done anything in fact. Although, searching for logic in a lot of these curses is often a pointless endeavour.

“Šta bre koji kurac gledaš?!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “what the cock are you looking at?”

Free = “what the fuck are you looking at?”

Usually an invitation to a brawl, used by primitive morons looking to pick a fight, and certainly a popular curse among Balkan gangsters whose courage rises dramatically whenever they carry a weapon in their pants. Bre is a Turkish word that means “fool”, but isn’t used that way by Serbs and Croats, most of whom are unaware of its meaning.

“I zec oštri kurac na siroče”

Literal = “even a rabbit sharpens his cock on an orphan”

Both this phrase and the one after it are used for a person whose standing in the community is so low that even a cowardly little bunny (i.e. anybody) shows him no respect or harasses him – presumably by using his body to sharpen his bunny-penis with. Whether this means that bunnies that choose fat orphans don’t have as much success in sharpening their genitals than those who use skinny (sharper) orphans, is a logical assumption. 

“I zec diže kurac na sirotinju”

Literal = “even a rabbit raises his cock (i.e. gets it hard) on the poor”

Free = same as the previous curse

While both of these bunny curses are used the same way, this time the bunny picks on the poor rather than just specifically targeting orphans. Furthermore, rather than using people with low social status as a sharpening object, these bunnies prefer to simply use their penises as a weapon(?) with which to hit the poor.

It is clear that female rabbits have no role to play in either of these curses. The implication must be that female bunnies do not harass low-status down-on-their-luck people, whereas male bunnies do, which in turn informs us that female bunnies are better people (or bunnies) than their male counterparts.

“’Oću - kurac!”

Literal = “I want a cock”

Free = “no fucking way in hell”, “no fucking chance”, "no fucking way I'm doing that"

The user states bluntly that he desires a penis, which is about as gay as it gets (or as nympho as it gets, coming out of the mouth of a woman), and yet the curse is mysteriously used to signify almost the opposite: the unwillingness of the user to do something. “There’s no fucking way I’m doing that” is pretty much what this bizarre curse means. Quite common.

“’Oćeš - kurac!”

Literal = “you want a cock” or “do you want a cock?”

Free = “no fucking chance”, "no fucking way (you're having it your way)" or "you fucking wish"

Same as the above, except that this time the user is assuming that the victim wants a cock, not the user him/herself. Also, grammatically the curse can be phrased as a question as well.

“Dokurčilo mi je više!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “it’s cocked me more” or “it has already reached my cock”

Free = “I’ve had it up to fucking here”, "I've had it with this shit"

An indirect curse usually aimed at no-one in particular, expressing the user’s frustration that he’d reached the end of his rope in a situation. Quite hard to translate literally, mainly because of the slang verb “dokurciti” which is formed from “kurac” and “do” (“until” or “to”). “Do kurca” would mean “all the way to the cock”, so the penis replaces the proverbial English neck as the physical height-limit of one’s patience. And because a neck is (usually) much higher than a penis, the literal implication is that Balkan Slavs have a much lower boiling point than the British, which I can attest to is very much true.

“Nabijem te na kurac!”

Literal = “I stick you on my cock”

Free = “fuck you”

Whenever a curse includes the penis, homosexuality is potentially lurking. It is quite bizarre that so many homo-hating Balkan men would threaten their male victims with sodomy, thereby implicating themselves in the much-despised homosexual lifestyle. It’s a baffling contradiction that I cannot explain. To be fair, the user of the curse doesn't specify whose penis the curse's victim will be impaled upon.

"Sviranje kurcu"

Literal = "playing music to a cock"
Free = "wasting time"

Being engaged in some pointless endevour, but more along the lines of a verbal activity.Playing music to a sex organ that is only interested in one thing would certainly be a waste of time, so there is logic here.

"Sviraš kurcu za male pare"

Literal = "you're playing music to the cock for very little money"
Free = "you're fucking wasting your time" or "you're talking shit"

An un-angry phrase used to mock its victim for wasting time talking about something, or for talking nonsense. The act of serenading a penis is quite an amusing idea for a curse.


"Kurac palac"

Literal = "Cock thumb"

A phrase used in order to shorten a long listing of dull or not so relevant things.


"Kad na kurcu izraste nokat"

Literal = "when a nail grows out of a cock"
Free = "fucking never"

Because nails generally only grow on fingers and toes, giving a penis the chance of having that means something can't happen. Why the vagina isn't used this way, I don't know, but penises are generally more used in curses.

Ko o cemu, nas cenjeni premijer o Gospodinu Sebastijanu Kurzu.

"Prdneš mi na kurac!"

Literal = "(You) fart on my cock"

I don't know exactly what this one is used for, because I've never heard it being used, but it's probably something along the lines of "suck on this" in the sense of "you won't be getting your way", some kind of a spiteful curse.


"Zeliš da prdneš i da stisneš"

Literal = "you want to fart and to hold it in"
Free = "you can't have your cake and eat it too"

The inability to simultaneously fart and yet somehow hold the fart inside is an obvious impossibility. I love the fact that the English-speaking world talks of cakes while the Balkans speak of farts in this context. Cakes and farts: worlds apart, just as the English-speaking world and the Balkans.


"Pun priče kao baba prdeža"

Literal = "full of stories like a granny full of farts"
Free = "he/she can't stop gabbing and yapping"

Whether grannies are full of farts is anyone's guess, but if they are then their male counterparts must be even fartier. Hence a good example of good old-fashioned male Balkan chauvinism. Many mocking expressions include jibes at older women.

“Tu nešto glumiš, a kurac ti viri iz očiju!”

Literal = “you’re acting something here (i.e. playing a role), but your cock (or a cock) is protruding out of your eyes”

This curse is used when the victim is perceived to be feigning innocence or ignorance. The notion of allegedly recognizing a penis in the eyes of another man is weird but makes sense inasmuch as that having thoughts of fornication is considered the polar opposite of innocence or cluelessness.

There is ambiguity regarding how one penis can manifest itself in two eyes. Perhaps one half is in one eye, and the other half in the other eye? Or perhaps the same penis appears twice, one per eye.

If directed at a female victim, the curse opens up a whole new set of questions: whose penis is sticking out of her eyes? Is the added implication/insult that she’s a nymphomaniac? And what if she’s a lesbian?

Directed at a male, the curse doesn’t specify that the penis necessary belongs to the user. So do we potentially once again have another case of laying homosexual “blame” on the victim?

“Ne sekiraj kurac”

Literal = “don’t worry your cock” or “don’t stress out your cock”

A phrase used when a man is attracted to a woman that he has no chance of ever having, i.e. she’s out of his league for example, or married, taken, or whatever.

Giving your penis false hope - when there is none - can lead to major disappointment, both for the penis and its horny owner, so this phrase makes total sense. However, the literal implication is that it’s the man’s head that controls his penis, rather than vice versa (which women in particular insist is the case).

“Skini mi se s kurca!”

Literal = “get off my cock”

Free = “stop annoying me”, “get off my case”, “leave me the fuck alone”

We shall have to assume that the victim was sitting on the user’s erect penis just before the curse is stated. Yet another homosexual curse (if used amongst men), this time one that signifies the end of a homosexual act rather than announcing one or asking for one.

“U tudjega tatka povelika patka”

Literal = “in another father there is a big duck” i.e. “other fathers always have a big cock”

Free = “the grass is always greener on the other side”

A very silly-sounding proverb that makes comical/pidgen use of the Macedonian language in order to make the two nouns rhyme.

“'Ladi muda”

Literal = “(s)he is cooling his/her balls”

Free = “(s)he is lazy” or “(s)he isn’t doing anything”

An expression, also used as “ladi mudanjca” which is the same, just with a funnier version of the noun “muda” i.e. “balls”.

If applied to a female, the literal implications are that the female in question must be cooling a set of testicles, i.e. not her own set on non-existent testicles. Of course, if she truly were to be cooling a set of testicles then the accusation of being idle wouldn’t be entirely true since the act of testicle-cooling (when they belong to somebody else) could be construed as work, whereas a male cooling his own genitals could be seen as a pointless act of self-indulgence i.e. non-work.

“Ne prodaj mi muda za bubrege!”

Literal = “don’t (try to) sell me testicles for kidneys”

Free = “you’re full of it”, “you can’t fool me”, “I don’t believe you”, “stop making up shit” or "you're talking out of your ass"

One of the more bizarre curses (and that’s saying something). Fact is that testicles are less relevant for one’s existence than kidneys, so a trade in that direction makes a lot more sense than trading kidneys for testicles. So even though the curse may sound absurd it is at least logical.

The only type of person I could see being quite happy with such a trade-off would be an aspiring eunuch with kidney problems. But whether anyone, eunuch or not, would trade their testicles for kidneys is anyone’s guess, though perhaps they might if they were using somebody else’s testicles. That, of course, would imply felonious organ-sales activities.

"Muda od labuda"

Literal = "swan's balls"
Free = "you won't get shit"

Obviously, swans get all the "glory" here simply because they rhyme so well with the slang word for testicles. Not that swan testicles have any kind of intrinsic value, except for swans themselves. A spiteful curse that lets the victim know that he won't be getting anything for whatever reason, least of all what the victim is expecting to get from the user of the curse.


"Titra mu jajca!"

Literal = "he's vibrating his balls"
Free = "he's pampering his ass", "he's kissing his ass"

"Jajca" instead of "jaja", because "jajca" is a sort of more comical variation of "balls". Used when someone is in a subservient position, like a servant, ready to fulfill any whim of the person in question. It can be also used for a female, as in "titraj joj jajca" - "pamper her ass". Even though women generally don't have testicles, they can be on the receiving end of this slave-master relationship. Another illogical curse, in that sense. It can be used to let the master-wannabe know that you're not willing to do chores for him or beg for anything, as in "necu da ti titram jajca!", meaning "I won't pamper your ass", in the sense of "do it yourfuckingself!".

“Do jaja!”

Literal = “until the eggs” or “all the way up to the eggs” i.e. “balls deep”

Free = “awesome” or "fuckin' A" (if you’re American), “cool”, “terrific”

Eggs, not balls, are Serb slang for testicles. A rare “happy curse”, this one can be used on its own, as one “sentence”, as an expression of positive surprise or within a sentence as an adjective in the superlative. A rather primitive and modern phrase used only by teens and young people, usually males. Its users are quite often of lower intelligence, hence the phrase is a useful way of quickly identifying cretins.

"Da baba ima jaja bila bi deda"

Literal = "If granny had balls she'd be grandpa"

A self-explanatory phrase that is intended to nip in the bud any excessive speculation about something.


"Ne jebe lep nego uporan"

Literal = "it's the persistent guy who f***s not the good-looking one one."

Free = "persistence counts for more than potential"

“Jebačina u tri čina”

Literal = “a shag in three acts (parts)”

A rhyme that describes something that's been going on for quite a while.

“Jebacina” is a very rude and heavy word for intercourse; sort of like “a mega-shag”, “a bang-fest”, or “an ultra-bonk”. But none of these translations come close to sounding as vulgar as this noun. Perhaps the Aussies would call it “a fuckaroo” if they wanted their own word for “jebacina”.

"Jebi se!" 

Literal = "fuck yourself"

Free = "fuck yourself" or “fuck you”

A rather straightforward one, probably to be used as a warm-up for the richer, heavier ones (once the agitation levels start rising, after a series of exchanged curses). Very common curse. To give it a little more zing, say it as “ma jebi se, bre”.

“Jeb’o te rimski papa!”

Literal = “may the Roman Pope fuck you” or “the Roman Pope fucks you”

Free = “you moron”, “you asshole”

The fact that the Pope is being described as “Roman” is sort of bloody obvious, a superfluous adjective if there ever was one. The Serbs, being Orthodox Christians, are the ones likely to be using this particular curse. Not a heavy curse at all, used more jokingly.

Obviously jokingly - when directed at an adult - considering that grown males never have to worry about being sexually assaulted by a Pope.

Not to be used on a boy that had spent a length of time in the Vatican, as this curse may bring back traumatic memories.

   

"Odjebi!"

Literal = "fuck off"

Free = "fuck off"

If you ever use this quite common curse on a woman called Debbie, you can say "Debbie odjebi!" which rhymes quite nicely.

"Jebe mi se!"

Literal = "I feel like fucking", "I feel horny"

Free = "I don't give a fuck"

Whereas in the English counterpart the user won't give any sex i.e. doesn’t "give a fuck", in the Serbian version the user actually declares his willingness to engage in sexual activity. If I had to choose between the two, in terms of logic, I'd not choose the Balkan one, simply because the Balkan person is saying that he doesn't care – yet he does care about having sex! It makes no sense. You either care or you don't…

“Jebem ti miša!”

Literal = “I fuck your mouse”

Free = “damn” or “damn it”

The use of animals is fairly widespread in any language and its curses and phrases, but how many languages have innocent little mice as victims of sexual abuse? Quite clearly, a man would have to have a very tiny penis in order to sexually assault a mouse with, so in a sense the user of the curse is unwittingly insulting his own penis, i.e. its size. As you shall see later, this isn’t the only curse in which the user unintentionally insults/degrades himself.

This curse isn’t necessarily directed at a specific person, but is more of an exclamation of surprise and perhaps annoyance.

“Jebem ti sunce!”

Literal = “I fuck your Sun” or “I fuck the Sun”

Free = “damn it”, “fuck you”

Very similar to the previous curse, but if sexually assaulting a tiny mouse was virtually impossible, then how about sticking your penis into the fiery flames of a burning hot star? The additional implication that the Sun might belong to someone is also quite absurd, even though the grammatically primitive curse doesn’t make it clear whether the Sun is in fact in the possession of the victim or not.

Either way, after sex with animals and gods, the megalomaniacal sexual nature of Balkan swear-words hits a new absurd high with an actual celestial object as the “victim” of somebody’s excessive horniness and anger.

“Jebem ti sunce krvavo!”

Literal = “I fuck your bloody Sun” or “I fuck the bloody Sun”

Free = “damn it”

A variation on the above. As if the bloodiness or unbloodiness of the Sun changes anything about the fact that any penis, no matter how powerful, will be scorched already during foreplay.

“Jebalo te sunce krvavo!”

Literal = “may the bloody Sun fuck you”

Free = “fuck you”

After having been subjected to sexual harassment, rape even, the Sun gets its revenge by sexually assaulting a human. How exactly this should look or work out is a complete mystery, nor is it likely that stellar objects have any sexual urges (and if they did, whether they’d use force to satiate them). Chances are that the average human wouldn’t even survive the foreplay which means the Sun would need to find a star to sexually harass instead.

“Sunce li ti jebem žarko!”

Literal = “I fuck your shiny Sun”

Free = “you fucking ass” or “fuck you”

Just as a previous curse needed to have the Pope described as a Roman, the Sun here, we are told, is shiny. Not a particularly heavy curse, can be used jokingly as well.

“Jeb’o si ježa!”

Literal = “you fucked a hedgehog”

Free = “you’re in for it”, “you’re screwed”, “you’re gonna get it”

Utilized to inform the victim of an impending punishment from the user or someone else. It’s interesting that this warning/threat curse deals with the future in spite of being grammatically in the past tense. Not a heavy curse.

“Jeb’o si čvorka!”

Literal = “you fucked a starling“

Free = “you’re in for it” or “you’re gonna get it”

Now a bird species gets to have its tiny hinder ravaged by a savage Balkan loon! Nobody and nothing is safe from a raging Slavic penis, that much is for certain. Still, a starling has wings so it can runaway from crazed perverts much more easily than a mouse or a hedgehog.

“Jebala Mara bumbara”

Literal = “Mara fucked a bumblebee” or “Mary fucked a bumblebee”

A rhyme used when a woman does something silly or stupid.

If you thought that sexual assault on a tiny mouse stretched the possibilities of physical reality to ludicrous extremes, then consider the act of a woman called Mara having sex with an insect.

A bumblebee is admittedly one of the bigger flying bugs out there, but still negligible in size as compared to Mara – who might be, for all we know, a heavy-set peasant woman, around 5,000 times bigger than the bug.

Furthermore, Mara being a woman, she cannot really rape the bug, i.e. the bug needs to be ready-and-willing in order for this sexual act to transpire. Whether male bumblebees can be attracted to human females is highly questionable, not to mention the fact that Mary wouldn’t find it particularly fulfilling.

So we can safely assume that Mary is a loony, and that the male bumblebee needs counseling.

"Jebodrom"

Literal = "fuckport", or much more accurate in German, "Fickhafen"

A noun constructed from the words "fuck" (jebati) and "airport" (aerodrom), to signify a comfortable or large or public place to have sex in. Usually applied to a large bed, in order to jokingly make a point about how big it is.


"Svaštojeb"

(tough to translate)

Literal = only translatable into German, as "Allesficker"

A person who doesn't pick and choose whom to have sex with. A very unpicky jebac who will have sex with anybody. A rather amusing word I'd heard of only recently. It's a wordplay on the word svastojed which is an animal that eats all sorts of food.

"Najebao si ga!"

Literal = "you've fucked him (a lot)"

Free = "now you're really gonna get it" or "you're in for it" or “you’re screwed”

The "ao" ending in "najebao" indicates that the curse is directed at a male person, so we have our first openly gay curse. "Najebala si ga!" would be directed at a female; literally, it means that the female victim had frequent sex with "him" ("ga") but since that is used as a threat, it sort of comes out as punishment for having frequent sex – just like in slasher movies where teenagers get swift punishment for doing it.

“Majke ti ga spalim!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “I burn him mothers to you” or “mothers to you I burn him” or “mothers to you I set fire to him”

Free = “you fucking ass”, “you shit”

The crappy grammar in this one is all over the place - or shall we say non-existent. The peasant/hillbilly roots of this curse are very evident so it's not used by educated people. (Yes, even well-educated people curse a lot in the Balkans.) Essentially, the user is threatening to “burn your mother”... but is he? The word “ga” indicates there is another male in the equation, which makes this a mystery even Miss Marple wouldn’t solve, with the help of the best Slavic linguists she can find. Is the user threatening to set fire to another man’s mother or her son? Will he burn the victim and/or his mother? There are four potential burn-victims here, and it’s a hick-curse riddle that might never be semantically disentangled.

“Siso jedna!”

Literal = “you one tit”

Free = “you asshole”, “you cunt”, “you tit”

The “jedna” i.e. one is seemingly an extra word we don’t need here, but this word often comes after a one-noun insult (it may vary depending on the noun’s sex, i.e. “jedan”, “jedna” or “jedno”). Otherwise, it’s obvious that the victim can only be one breast, never two (or more). Not a heavy curse in terms of sound or meaning, but if used by one male toward another male it could result in a physical altercation because the victim of the curse is having his masculiity questioned and mocked. It is used to apply accusation to someone who has reneged on a promise or has backstabbed or betrayed someone, an accusation of cowardice and/or betrayal.

"Pederu!"

Literal = "you fag", “you poofter”

Free = "you asshole"

Usually utilized not to put homosexual "blame" on the victim but to point out that the victim is "being an asshole", in the sense that he is being selfish or didn't deliver on a promise, or maybe even that he's had sex with the user's sister, mother, father, aunt, dog, mouse, bumblebee, Sun, or god, without asking for his permission.

“Pederčino!”

Literal = “you great big faggot” or “you faggot”

Free = “you faggot” or “you asshole”

Just a heavier word for “poof”. Much heavier. Again, homosexuality isn't necessarily the issue here, but the trustworthiness or moral compass of the victim. Quite a strong insult to hurl at another male, to be uttered only at times of great anger at the person in question. But because great anger is a commonplace occurrence in the Balkans, the curse is fairly common. It's the kind of curse that could result in a physical confrontation.
Believe it or not, despite there being laws/rules in the media about gay-related slurs, in Serbian TV-reality you can use this word 100 times and still not get disqualified - or even warned by the show's producers. Even when used by a heterosexual to insult a gay contestant (whether openly gay or not), there are nearly never any consequences.
In fact, in Serbian TV-reality shows violence is not only allowed but indirectly encouraged by the sociopathic producers. Formally, violence and sexism are forbidden (due to television laws that are blissfully ignored), but nearly all contestants who use violence reach the finale.

“Kurvo!”

Literal = “you whore”

Free = “you whore”, “you slut” but also “you asshole” or “you bitch”

Used at either sex but much more often at females. Self-explanatory.

“Kurvetino!”

Literal = “you great big whore”

Free = “you fucking whore” but also “you asshole” or “you slut”, “you bitch”

The same as "kurvo" but with more weight. A universal curse, no further explanation required.

Ceca Raznatovic, the biggest mafia slut in the Balkans. Half of Serbia's youth bows to this sociopathic maloderous c***, and most young girls try to imitate her. (Yes, like Madonna's status in the West, in the 80s/90s, but far more vile.)

 “Kurvin sine!”

Literal = “you son of a whore”

Free = “you son of a bitch”

Not particularly common these days, and not nearly as heavy as many curses listed here in spite of what it may sound like.

“Kurvinska igra”

Literal = “a slut’s game”, “a whore’s game”, “a whore-like game”

A phrase used for a very unfair situation, or a devious plan that is being hatched at somebody’s expense (usually at the user’s expense, which is why he is moaning about it). Usually a plan i.e. “game” that is being orchestrated behind the scenes, secretly, by people who are perceived to be corrupt, selfish, greed and/or immoral. Mainly utilized to describe political issues, also office politics, business dealings, less applicable in personal situations.

“Drkadžijo!”

Literal = “you wanker”

Free = “you asshole”

Usually used by men and only directed at other guys. It’s a bit ironic that it’s such a male curse, considering that most men masturbate, hence it’s quite rich coming from one man to hurl “accusations” of masturbatory behavior at another guy. A hypocritical curse if there ever was one.

“Nadrkan”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “wanked out”

Free = “in a shit mood”

This adjective is used for a person who is grumpy, angry, pissed off, and feeling low. Based on the slang verb “drkati” (“to wank”), or more specifically, “nadrkati” (which means nothing on its own). The phrase is not illogical because it doesn’t mean “wanked off” i.e. doesn’t describe a person in a post-wank state i.e. a state most of us would consider a happy, content state. “Wanked off” would be “izdrkan”, which is not quite the same word.

Because “nadrkati” means nothing on its own, the literal meaning of this rude descriptive is impossible to translate, even into Serbo-Croatian. So the phrase opens a mystery: how does masturbation fit in with a state of anger and misery?

"Ne seri!"

Literal = "do not shit”

Free = "shut the fuck up", "shut up", but also "get outta here", "no way" or “I can’t fucking believe it”

Usually used as an expression of surprise when the other person tells you something you didn't know. Used by younger people and teens especially. Sounds a little silly coming from an adult. (But since a number of silly adults infest the Balkans, some actually use it.)
When it comes to its use as an expression of surprise, it's one of those curses to identify imbeciles with - at least when it comes to adults using it. A well-educated adult isn't likely to use it.

“Prekini da sereš!”

Literal = “stop shitting”

Free = “stop talking shit” or “quit yapping”

Even though almost the same in meaning as the previous shit-related curse, this one is an expression of anger directed at a person. The meaning is obvious: words are coming out of your mouth, but they might as well be shit, so stop shitting i.e. talking.



"Mudroser"

Literal = "wiseshitter" (difficult to translate as a noun)
Free = "wisenheimer"

When a person tries too hard to come off as smart or knowledgable. Mudroser in fact literally means "shitting wisely". Mudar means wise, it's a complete coincidence that muda means balls/testicles. I.e. this has nothing to do with "shitting testicles". Not to be confused with smartass, because a smartass doesn't have the intention to be smart, just an ass.


“Ma daj, ne kenjaj više!”

Literal = “give, stop shitting already”

Free = “come on, stop talking shit already”

Basically the same as the Noam Chomsky one, with a different verb for “to shit”, but this time the user has had to endure a longer period of having to listen to someone’s unbearable drivel.

“Zasrao si sve!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “you’ve shit everything”

Free = “you’ve fucked everything up”

The above is directed at a male. For a female, it’s “zasrala si”, i.e. “you’ve fucked up”. To shit on (or above, or next to, or close to) things is never a good idea, so this straight-forward curse makes sense.

“Seri ti, samo ti seri...”

Literal = “you shit, you just keep on shitting”

Free = “go on, keep talking (shit)”

One of the few curses/phrases to be uttered without shouting or excessive emotionalism. Instead, a mild dose of sarcasm is required to make this one work. To be used when the user is willing to listen to the victim’s rant, criticism or whatever, quite content to let the victim talk while the user just says this phrase once (or every now and again, if he has nothing better to riposte with).
However, it can also be used as a thinly-veiled threat, as in "you just keep on talking shit... see what happens".

“Serem ti se u usta!”

Literal = “I shit in your mouth”

Free = “fuck you”

Where better to relieve oneself of no.2 than directly into the mouth of an enemy? Perhaps a secret fantasy for some people.

“Popišam ti se u usta!”

Literal = “I piss in your mouth”

Free = “fuck you”

Slightly lighter than the previous curse, for the simple reason that urine can be used as replacement for water in extreme situations of thirst.

I bet you’re expecting “I cum into your mouth” next? Wrong; there is no such curse.

"Usraću ti se u zivot!"

Literal = "I will shit into your life"
Free = "I will fuck you up" or "I will make your life a living hell"

A threat made using excrement, a promise to inject a fair amount of crap into someone else's affairs, out of revenge or as a result of an insult.


"Jedi govna!"

Literal = "eat shit"

Free = "eat shit" or “fuck you”

Mostly used by women and children. Coming from a man (not the shit, the curse), it would sound silly, the curse not having the heaviness of "fucking a dog" or someone's mother or sister, which is a little strange because consuming excrement is a pretty bad proposition in anyone’s book.

“Govnaru!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = ”you shitster” (i.e. “govnar” might be understood as someone who is an expert at shit or deals with shit at his job, that sort of thing)

Free = “you asshole”, “you low-life”

Used by anyone, directed at anyone. The curse puts into question the moral fiber of the victim, and is often hurled at someone who has betrayed the curse-user or disappointed him in whichever way. Not as heavy as “drkadzijo” or “pedercino” though.

“Koje je to govno od čoveka”

Literal = “what a turd of a man that is”

Free = “what a shitty scumbag”

Another phrase that blemishes the moral fibre, especially trustworthiness, of a person. The victim is made out of excrement this time around; yet another twisted Balkan-curse fantasy. You don’t have to visualize it.

Additionally, the victim is another man’s turd. The (presumably third-person) victim is equated to a turd, so we can only guess when he came out of the “man” in question (i.e. out of his anal opening), or who that “man” may be. This information isn’t provided in the curse. In fact, we aren’t even told whether the victim/turd ever even left the man’s anus; he may still be inside his bowels, waiting for freedom. The not-so-obvious implication that the victim/turd might be trapped inside another man adds a whole new dimension to this seemingly simple curse, making it one of the more richly layered entries on this list.

"Govedo smrdljivo!"

Literal = "you stinking ox"

Free = "you fucking bastard"

Used more by women, and usually addressed to a male, hence the sort of curse one might overhear during domestic disputes, when the wife curses out her husband. It contains no really rude word, but I included it because the ox, when it does stink (and I think they often do), probably stinks of shit or piss (I doubt it's the sweat), and those are ideas or terms that fit in the category of "filthy words". Plus it’s a relatively heavy curse, as heavy as some that have actually filthy words in them.

Ironically enough, the word "smrdljivo" is very close to the words "smrdljiv vo", which means "a stinky ox".

"Pičko smrdljiva!"

Literal = "you stinking cunt"

Free = "you fucking cunt/asshole”

Same as above, perhaps used more by men, directed at either sex. Anyone who has ever been close enough to a vagina knows how true this curse can sometimes be, with some women… (Try to pronounce "smrdljivo". It has 5 consonants lined up in a row (the "lj" is – like the Spanish "ll" - one sound, and if you can't say it, then it's actually 6 consonants for you).)

“Jebem je/ga u usta smrdljiva!”

Literal = “I fuck her/him in her/his smelly mouth”

Free = “fuck her/him”

As questionable as the practice of inserting one’s penis into a foul-smelling mouth may appear, just remember how much better off the penis is as compared to being placed in an anus. It’s all relative. Yes, yet another homosexual curse, this time uttered in the third person and usually directed at another man.

The issue gets more complex and less clear when a woman is using the curse, at either sex.

“Smrdiš kao da si pojeo smrznutog četnika!”

Literal = “you stink as if you’d eaten a refrigerated chetnik”

Free = “you smell like shit”

Not really a direct hate-related curse but a literal complaint about the victim’s allegedly bad body odor.

The Chetniks were a Serb army that fought for the monarchy and against Communists i.e. partisans during WW2, and have little to do with modern-day Chetnik wannabes most of whom are just brainless nationalists. Tito’s Communist propaganda machine had made sure that all the history books portrayed the Chetniks as a bunch of baby-killing psychopaths, hence this curse. Hence why I never actually heard it being used, because Tito is long gone and Chetniks are fashionable once again.
Which brings us to why this curse is user-specific; it only makes sense when used by Communist sympathizers and Ustashas, i.e. Croats, both of which were the mortal enemies of the Chetniks.

"Pičkin dim"

Literal = "a cunt's smoke"

Free = "irrelevant", "nothing", “meaningless”

A phrase, and part of the ongoing "smoke" serial. To be used as part of a sentence, i.e. "on je pičkin dim": "he is smoke coming out of a cunt" i.e. "he's irrelevant", "he's nothing". Or "svi ste vi pičkin dim", i.e. "you're all cunt's smoke", or "none of you mean shit". I guess the point/logic is that a vagina emits no smoke, so by being compared to a non-existing substance the victim is basically downgraded to a "nothing".

“Ko sa decom spava, taj se budi popišan”

Literal = "he who sleeps with children wakes up in (a puddle of) pee"

This is one of my favourites, didn't know about it until recently. The phrase is used to describe older men who have affairs with much younger or young women. The generational difference in maturity levels causes headaches and problems for the male. Pretty self-explanatory, methinks.

“Pizdolizac”

Literal = “cunt-licker”

Free = “ass-kisser”, “brown-noser”

Not necessarily a curse to be directed at someone, but mainly used as a noun in the third person to insult someone who isn’t present i.e. cannot defend himself against “accusations” of licking female genitals.

Considering how many men enjoy the said activity, perhaps there might be a hint of jealousy and hypocrisy in the user of the curse. On the other hand, some men consider the act demeaning hence might be using it as an honest insult, without jealousy or hypocrisy involved.

I think the English variant makes more sense because the victim is accused of doing something that hardly anyone enjoys doing, i.e. placing one’s tongue on somebody’s derriere.

“Popizdeću!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “I’m gonna cunt out” or “I’m gonna cunt off”

Free = “I’m gonna lose my fucking mind” or “I’m about to fucking snap”

The verb “popizdeti” is based on the noun “pizda”. Although the curse is in the future tense, it implies that the user has already snapped, the proof being this vagina-based curse.

“Pizdarija”

Literal = impossible to translate, I give up

Free = “a major fuck-up” or “a fucked-up situation” or “a fucking mess”

A noun based around the word “pizda” (“cunt”). Signifies a situation that is complex, difficult to deal with or resolve. Also applicable to situations caused by someone’s corruption, carelessness, bad intentions, etc.

“Sladja pika nego sika”

Literal = "a fanny is sweeter than a titty"

A hilarious proverb, one of my favourites. “Pika” is diminutive for “picka”, i.e. a cute way of saying vagina, and “sika” is diminutive for “sisa”, i.e. a child-like way of referring to a breast. What results is a wonderful rhyme that explains how men tend to be swayed by their female partners when there is a conflict between a man’s wife and his mother. This saying is used when a man takes sides with his wife, as opposed to with his mother, because a “pika” is much more fun (i.e. sweeter) than a “sika” i.e. mother’s breasts. More bluntly put, sex with your partner’s vagina is superior to suckling milk from your mother’s breasts. Priceless.

Curiously enough, Sladja happens to also be a rather common female name among Serbs. So if we really choose to nitpick, the literal translation could also be “Sladja, titty than fanny”. What exactly would that mean? Absolutely nothing. But I feel as if I need to cover everything (just as I needed to cover certain parts on the photo, because this list needs to maintain its innocent PG feel).

“Jebivetar”

Literal = “fuckwind” or “he who fucks the wind”, "wind fucker"

I bet you didn’t see that one coming, huh? After sex with gods, animals, solar objects, blood, relatives, bread etc you might have expected just about anything else but the wind. Used solely in the third person to describe guys who can’t stay located in one place for long, cannot focus on one thing for a long time, i.e. for guys who might be immature and fickle.

So a man who has an urge to be on the move has sex with the wind? It makes sense only inasmuch that the faster he moves the more “wind” i.e. fast air there is about him.

The word sounds great, but it’s much too heavy for its fairly tame meaning, so it’s never been a favourite of mine.

“Vukojebina”

(tough to translate literally)

Literal = “a wolf-fucker place”

Not a curse per se but a filthy noun that describes an out-of-the-way, remote village with a tiny population, which nobody ever visits or has heard of. The Balkans are full of vukojebinas, places that seem to not move in time (or with it), that appear quite primitive and run-down.

Perhaps the idea behind this word is that a village or hamlet can be so remote, irrelevant and tiny that even a wolf rejected by his pack can have his way with it sexually, or that its inhabitants are so backward that they molest wolves, because the word doesn’t specify who molests whom. Either way, a place that is truly worthless.

Quite a harsh insult to hurl at a town or hamlet of any kind, but not far off the mark for so many such places, in the Balkans and elsewhere.

“Pičkojevac”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “Cuntopolis” or “Cuntville”

Very similar in meaning to the term above. Another amusing insult hurled at barely mapped remote hamlets.

“Picka” is obviously “cunt” (you must have learned that by now), but the ending “-jevac” or “-evac” doesn’t actually mean anything at all. It just happens to be the ending in the names of several Serbian towns, such as Kragujevac, Krusevac, Pozarevac, or Knjazevac. These particular towns are not pickojevac i.e. pickojevci (plural), nor is the point of this term to insult towns that have this ending in their names.

"Popuši mi ga!"

Literal = "smoke it to me"  

Free = "blow me", "blow it", “suck my dick” i.e. "fuck off"

An interesting curse that doesn’t actually mention the penis, even though the penis is the central focus of the curse.

A cigarette gets smoked, but a penis that is like a cigarette must be a rather thin penis. So, using this logic (and if we’re going to nit-pick) the user of the curse actually insults his own penis, by comparing it to a thin, short cigarette. Illogical. Only in the Balkans…

"Popuši mi ga malo!"

Literal = "smoke it to me a little bit" or "smoke mine a bit"

Free = "blow me", "blow it", “suck it”, “suck my cock” i.e. "why don't you fuck off"

This time the “malo” (i.e. a little bit) adds just a little extra flavour to the above curse, sort of like adding spice to a Mexican dish. It also gives the victim a briefer punishment since there is to be only “malo” of the “smoking” i.e. just a bit.

Here’s yet another curse that can be (and is) utilized homosexually, when men use it to threaten each other with this type of insertion. Typically, one man will start off by telling the other to “suck my cock”, after which the victim becomes the user and responds swiftly with “no, you can suck my cock, you douchebag”, i.e. a reverse offer of oral sex. What these two angry men don’t even realize is that they’d just engaged in a highly homosexual exchange, with generous offers of oral sex going back-and-forth.

“Puši kurac!”

Literal = “suck a cock”

Free = “go suck a dick”

It isn’t specified which penis should have the great honour and privilege of being “sucked” by the victim, so this curse at least offers its victim the choice of which penis to suck as punishment. One must be grateful for small things, i.e. beggars can’t be choosers: if your punishment is to “suck a cock” then at least you can choose one yourself. I know, it’s a small comfort.

A very common curse.

"Puši mi kurac!"

Literal = "smoke my cock"

Free = "suck my dick"

Unlike the previous curse, this time it is specified which penis to “suck”, so the range of options suddenly dwindles from billions of penises to just one, and this drastic change is achieved with the mere addition of the word “mi” (“my”) into the curse.

Believe it or not, increasingly used by women. I personally think it’s amusing rather than insulting when a female says it.

“Sisaj mi ga!”

Literal = “suckle mine” or “suck mine”

Free = “suck my dick”

Pretty much the same as above, except that sucking is the star this time around, rather than the usual smoking. But the result is the same: an order coming from the filthy mouth of the user for your mouth to open and accept the curse user’s filthy member.

"Možeš da mi ga popušiš!"

Literal = "you may smoke it (if you want)"

Free = "suck my dick".

Unlike the previous one, which is a clear order/imperative to engage in fellatio, this one gives the victim a choice, an option. It is an invitation to fellatio, albeit a harsh one.

“Popuši mi onu stvar!”

Literal = “suck that thing (of mine)” or “suck me that thing”

Free = “suck my dick”

We all know what “thing” the user means, it’s just a little strange that the very direct Serbs and Croats should have a variation on the ever-popular oral-sex which refuses to mention the penis by name. Perhaps for this reason thus curse has medium usage, doesn’t fall into the batch of the most popular curses.

“Istuširao sam joj krajnike!”

Literal = “I’ve showered her tonsils”

Free = “I’ve cum inside her mouth”

Not used as an insult (unless the female in question is present to hear it), but a proud description of a sexual act successfully completed to the utter satisfaction and delight of the male user. A boastful phrase, used more often by men who feel they must prove either their heterosexuality or potency, hence the truthfulness of such a phrase is to be taken with a grain of salt: not only is he talking about his alleged sexual conquest (which men describe in detail much less than women amongst themselves) but he is presenting it in a bombastic manner which hints at an ulterior motive. Such guys appear as though they get more joy talking about their sexual adventures than actually doing them, which must make one wonder. I haven't actually ever heard anyone use this primitive phrase, but apparently it does exist.

“Ide mi na kurac!”

Literal = “he/she is going on my cock”

Free = “he/she is pissing me off”

Let’s analyze this one. A man using this curse/phrase for a woman is essentially saying that he doesn’t want a woman to sit on his penis, which could mean one of three things: 1) that he is gay, 2) that he doesn’t like that sexual position, or 3) that his erection needs to be vagina-free for the time being.

A woman using this curse for a man is setting herself up for ridicule. A woman using this curse on another woman might be implying lesbian dildo activities.

Whichever sex the user or the victim, the curse is strange because it equates this highly popular sexual act with something that is annoying. Yet another contradictory curse.

“Evo ti kurac!”

Literal = “here’s a cock for ya”

Free = “fuck no” or “no way Jose”

This curse is uttered when the victim wants something from the user (or somebody else) but the user informs him that there is absolutely no way he’ll get it. All he’ll get is a “kurac” instead, which apparently isn’t much, so in that sense there is some logic to it in the sense that a “kurac” won’t be of much use to another man (unless he’s gay). Directed at a nymphomaniac woman, this curse wouldn’t make any sense since offering her a “kurac” would be exactly what she wants.

On the other hand, it’s interesting that a penis should represent nothing, when most men consider their penises their most valuable possessions. It’s quite a contradiction hence an illogical aspect of this curse.

Often used with a rude or drastic hand-gesture, such as a middle finger, a raised fist or something along those lines. A drastic nod of the head might suffice also.

“Boli me kurac!”

Literal = “my cock hurts”

Free = “I don’t give a shit”

Again, a curse that simply makes no sense. If your penis hurts then you should care, not not care. It would make more sense for the curse to be “ne boli me kurac” i.e. “my cock doesn’t hurt” as that would be much more in line with not “giving a shit”, i.e. “why should I be bothered when there is no pain in my cock at all”.

Also used is “zabole me kurac”, which means the same.

“Koji si ti kurac?!”

Literal = “what cock are you?” or “what kind of a cock are you?”

Free = “who the fuck do you think you are”, “you’re fucking irrelevant in all this”

This quasi-question curse attempts to put the victim in his place, i.e. make him understand that he should re-evaluate his importance in society and just generally speaking.

“Kurac od ovce”

Literal = “a sheep’s cock” or “cock from a sheep”

Free = “irrelevant” or “nothing”

Apparently, a sheep’s penis only has value to the sheep itself (and perhaps its female partner should the penis perform to her liking). Otherwise, the world of Balkan Slavs has little use for it as it produces no milk and isn’t used for consumption, so I guess there is logic here.

Used with sarcasm.

“Imam - kurac!”

Literal = “I have a cock”

Free = “I’ve got fuck all” or “I haven't got shit” or “you’re wrong coz I don’t have it (i.e. whatever is being talked about)”

Utilized to negate a person’s claim that the user has something, i.e. not an insult but yet another common penis-based phrase. Whereas it’s understandable that a sheep’s cock holds no great interest or value to the average person, it makes no sense for the user to equate his own penis with nothing. Literally, the phrase sounds like a boast (even though ownership of a penis is hardly a rarity among men) and yet it is used as a complaint almost.

"U vreći pičaka uvek izvučem kurac!"

Literal = "in a sack full of cunts I always have to pull out a cock!"
Free = "I have always shit luck"

A wonderful phrase, isn't it? The odd thing is that when women use it, they don't switch places between penis and vagina i.e. they don't say "in a sack full of cocks I always seem to pull out a cunt". Very illogical, because it implies that all Serb women are lesbians. Then again, women don't curse as much anyway...

“Sve radi preko kurca”

Literal = “he/she is doing everything through the cock (or above the cock)”

Free = “he/she is doing a half-assed job” or “he/she aren’t putting effort into it”

To do something just because you have to, i.e. badly or just barely. The key part here is “preko kurca” i.e. a number of variations exist with those two words at its core.

“Šta se kurčiš?”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “why are you so cocky?” or “why are you so prick-like?”

Free = “what are you showing off for?”

An accusation hurled nearly always at a man, questioning his need to show off or boast. The verb kurčiti means “to show off”.

“Kurac ću to da uradim!”

(tough to translate)

Literal = “a cock am I gonna do that”

Free = “no fucking way am I doing that”

As you can plainly see, there is hardly anything that cannot be expressed in terms of penis in Serbo-Croatian. It’s a multi-purpose genital with almost chameleon-like abilities to assimilate itself into any situation/sentence and be of use; as a noun, as a verb, as an adjective or as some indefinable grammatically-non-existent entity.

"Al' ću da te karam!"

Literal = "am I gonna shag you or what"

Free = "you're really gonna get it now”

Used predominantly by men, but directed at either sex, which once again underscores the bisexual nature of some of the listed curses. This curse is sort of different, because the user makes a promise of sexually molesting the victim in a way that indicates that he is really raring to go, he can barely wait to get down and dirty with the victim.

This one can be used jokingly or half-jokingly i.e. isn’t a real threat, and is rarely used these days.

“Jebiga”

Literal = “fuck him” (the original “fuck him” is written as “jebi ga”)

Free = “oh well, what the hell” or “that’s just how it is” or “bad luck” or “what can you do”

The discrepancy between the literal and free translations couldn’t be any bigger, which makes this phrase/word quite strange, but also very common. It is used very often casually in a sentence that isn't angry or as a sentence or statement in itself. It is a lighter curse and isn’t directed at anyone. You can even shrug your shoulders as you say it.

"Jebote"

(tough to translate)   

Literal = "he/she/it/me am/are fucking you" (originally “jebo te”)

Free = "my God" or "unbelievable" or "like wow", “like” etc…  

Not a curse, but more of a one-word, flexible, multi-purpose “phrase” that can be used anywhere in a sentence. Example: “Juce sam, jebote, upoznao neku ribu, a ona jebote, ispostavilo se jebote neka kurva, jebote, trazile mi pare jebote, a joj naravno nisam dao, jebote nista jer sam dekintiran.” So yes, “jebote” tends to be excessively used by morons and semi-literate folk, perhaps predominantly by kids and young people. It dominated the 80s - and maybe the 90s as well. Similar to the way young American morons over-use the word "like" in the English language.

These days, “jebote” isn’t used nearly as much as a few decades ago; now the “jebote” is far too often replaced by “brate” (brother, bro) which sounds far more idiotic, and is used by kids and adult retards. Even dumb female teens use it a lot, which is when it's the most annoying. Sort of the way "yo, bro" is always that extra level dumber when a woman uses it.

You can shift the jebotes anywhere you want, or add them at will. I remember a Gypsy from grade-school who used to say it about 5 times on average in every sentence. Jebotes are kind of like tattoos and piercings: the more there are, the dumber the person involved. People who excessively use them inadvertently advertise their stupidity. To use one occasionally is perfectly acceptable, though not in a business situation such as negotiating a contract. It’s not THAT acceptable.

18.12.2019.